 Before I start, I just want to tell everyone how proud I am to be Filipino. I'm simply proud and blessed because of the richness of its culture. Like no other. I am a Filipino with Spanish and Chinese descent (as my parents told me) but I'm fully Filipino by heart. So this blog is all about the things I realized about being who I am -- about being a Filipino :) You know you're a Filipino when: 1. You or your girl friends straighten your/their hair (rebond) just because it's kulot or in other words curly. 2. You love wearing loose or ugly clothes at home (pambahay), but when you go out the house, you actually look like you're the best dresser in town! 3. You are happy with the little things life can give you. 4. You are either really good in music or not. There's nothing between that. 5. You're used to greet older people with holding their hands and putting it on your forehead. Others call it Bless in English and Mano Po in Tagalog. 6. When you're in abroad, you know whether that man or woman walking down the street are Filipinos just because of how they dress up. (I know right!) 7. You love rice! It's either you pair it with tuyo (dried fish), sabaw (soup), any main meals/viands or simply anything. 8. You love the traditional Filipino chocolate -- Chocnut which is made of nuts. 9. You bow down when passing between two people or more who are talking as a sign of excuse. 10. You never, never butt in during conversations unless you're involved in it. . 11. You are so emotional when you watch "teleseryes" and get carried away for real. 12. You truly love art and nature! 13. You love storing plastic bags and used water bottles thinking that you can use it again someday. 14. You have a great respect for our elders. Usually, we are more closer to our grandparents than our parents ourselves. 15. You love defending the celebrities you love from their haters even if you know that they don't care. (Haha!) 16. You have big and extraordinary dreams but that doesn't take contentment away from you. 17. You have a really huge desire to help your fellow countrymen because you feel like if you were the president, there'd be a better chance of progress in the country. 18. You love having big TVs at home and you don't care having NO more space available. 19. You know what "ukay-ukay" means and you love it! 20. Pacquiao's fights are a big deal to you. If you know more, don't hesitate to comment! Big Smiles :D For more fun facts about the Filipino Culture, I recommend you to watch Hey Joe Show! You can watch them on Youtube.. Photo grabbed from Google Images 
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Since I'm home alone today feeling a bit lazy and all, here are the songs (the melody) that really matches with my mood today. 1. Beautiful Soul (Cover) by Boyce Avenue 2. History by This Wild Life 3. Want To Want Me (cover) by Megan Davies 5. Marry Me by Jason Derulo  BECAUSE OF THE LORD'S GREAT LOVE WE ARE NOT CONSUMED, FOR HIS COMPASSIONS NEVER FAIL. THEY ARE NEW EVERY MORNING; GREAT IS YOUR FAITHFULNESS. Last night, at exactly 00:00, I was about to publish a post similar to this, but Weebly on my phone has unfortunately stopped because of some glitches. Anyway, last night was quite different. I didn't feel like I was ever going to be okay. I was depressed, I admit. I wanted life to just get better, but it just isn't happening the way I wanted things to be. I felt so bored that I kept scrolling on my Instagram feed over and over again which made me even memorize all of the captions already. I then checked my 'explore' tab, and out of the blue, there was just something that touched my heart to its core. I bumped into the page of Jay Lucas who has undoubtedly such talent in photography, but aside from that, the part of his feed that I instantly loved the most were his posts about his daughter, Caitie and her recent death. The photos show just how much he and his wife loved their daughter so much. Honestly, my tears just had to drop while browsing through their photos! Caitie was down with an immune disorder that have affected their whole family -- even their church friends. Above all the pain and grief that are portrayed through their pictures and its captions, it is undeniable that their faith and trust in God still stood out. I mean, how could so much of intense pain still be turned into praise? How could death ever be a reason to still move on with life? And how could a little girl's battle for life still bring inspiration to many? The thought of these things just made me realize how grateful I must be. Life, for me, has always been a mixture of fun and sorrow -- mostly sorrow. If I were to grab a line from Anne of Green Gables, I'd say that "I'm in the depths of despair". Although I believe that God is in control, sometimes I can't just believe it anymore because of the circumstances I face in life. But now, I can only be thankful that even if my faith went on wavering, God reminds me, even through pictures that He is in control and will always be. His mercies are new every morning and He never fails. Be inspired by @felizlucas @jayjaylucas on Instagram.  I wrote this 3 months ago and to be honest, I really can't remember what bothered me so much that time. The fact is,
I admit, this feeling still bothers me up till today. The reason why I looked up for this draft is maybe because my situation today triggers the same emotions I had that day: depressed, anxious and afraid. I'm just lost and confused. Sometimes I just feel so empty, My head starts to ache and my heart beats weakly. Sometimes I don't know why certain things happen without a detailed explanation. I just feel so down and weary, so dry and useless. I see the light but I can't reach it. I found the the pathway but couldn't tread it. Why is everything so against my will? Why does every single thing not work out? Another year is long enough to give in, to give up. I mean, what's the purpose? If there's any. I know what'll fill me up, but I guess it's just not enough. I'm thankful, grateful and blessed but still, I can't find happiness. When will everything be okay? When will everything be my way? When will that feeling of being alone and poor and oppressed just go away and let me be? Can't I just be given that freedom to be happy? Can't I just live life with nothing to worry? Can't I? I wanna be free from financial slavery, I wanna study and travel the world. I want to reach out, serve God and many, but I don't even know when that will be. I hate the fact that I'm growing old but I still find myself useless and miserable. Not knowing what to do -- it's just unbearable. I hate this, I hate this. I want to write, but it's just so blurry and I couldn't get things done. I wanna sing but there's no voice coming from within. What should it take for me to be happy? What should I do to let go of this life so messy? Should I stand, wait and pray? or should I move and stay away? God, I need you now more than ever. Why can't you just let me be that happy, contented, problem -free kid that I once used to be? I miss that child, I miss the happy and cheerful me. When will the real me come back? Happy Thursday! These are my current favorites — the Christian songs I find so catchy lately. Hope you can relate with me somehow :) 1. Oceans by Hillsong United The part I really love most is the bridge that says: "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior" 2. Scandal of Grace by Hillsong United And for this song, I prefer this part that is somewhere in the second verse: "The day and its trouble shall come I know that Your strength is enough The scandal of grace, You died in my place So my soul will live" 3. Jesus Is Better by Austin Stone Worship I just learned of this song lately when both my sisters performed this at church together with the youth music team. I tell you, I never really heard this song before, but it just got stuck in my mind! #LSS So here are the songs I love! I hope you, too, get the time to listen to it. I just love how God speaks to us through music. Have a nice Friday tomorrow!  |
Thanks for making it to this portion of the internet. I am truly grateful to each one of you for reading my entries! Most of what I've written here are unspoken words — words I wish I could've said or shared with anyone in person but has remained in my heart until I was able to write it in here.
My life's full of downs than ups, but through it all, I have seen and tasted the sweetness of God's grace and love. With that, I can tell you with a convinced heart that God is faithful, He is good and He never runs out of love for you and for me. Hope you enjoy your read(s)! 
Rest if you must, but don't you quit!
The Sunday Currently vol 15 (Easter Sunday) The changing of seasons and what it teaches us A season of pruning and refining 3 years into blogging + things I learned and unlearned The Sunday Currently vol. 14 Louvre Museum, Abu Dhabi 
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January 2019
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