In life we’re often placed in circumstances where the struggle to accept our defeat and move further becomes really hard. Even when all the facts are already lying right before our eyes, we can’t seem to let go of all the things, people or problems that’s hindering us from being okay. But that’s life, we’ve had to deal with the hard times, we’ve had to battle all those fears, we’ve had to keep on fighting. But there’s one begrudging truth amongst all of these though– that no matter how much we try to keep going, when we don’t learn how to let go of the relationships and the opportunities that could’ve been, I’m afraid to say but we might just be making ourselves a subject to not just pain but failure as well.
Yes, I’ve struggled with letting go all throughout my life. I’ve had to let go of people I thought I could trust, of people I considered family, though some of them were literally family. I also had to learn to let go of the life I basically thought I had. All my life, I’ve experienced how much it hurt when my expectations failed to satisfy me. This didn’t just happen to me – we’ve all experienced it at one point in our lives – even in movies. We all see the notion of how typically daunting it is to move on after a failed relationship, of how heartbreaking it is to let go of the person who you once thought loved you or cared for you. Letting go of a dog that died isn’t even that easy! But we’re humans, we have emotions. We laugh, we cry, we get frustrated, we get depressed – but that isn’t the end of everything, surely. There’s always something we can do to lighten up. No matter how tough the journey gets, we can always adjust ourselves and change our perspective.
I know it’s difficult. We all have our differences. We all struggle letting go at one point and I cannot really speak for everyone. Instead, I answered the question which is the title of this post: WHY I THINK YOU SHOULD LEARN TO LET GO. Below are my answers…
1) Because you’re just setting yourself to believe in something that no longer exists
It’s true, believe me. There are a lot of times in our lives when we know we can’t really do anything about something anymore, but we keep on holding on to it. When my dog died last year, even when I saw her dead body lying on the floor, I forced myself to believe that it was all a joke. That it was all a lie or a dream that I badly wanted to wake up from. The next morning, I really hoped everything was but a dream but no. I was just holding on to life that I never saw death coming. In movies, especially the Filipino ones, I’ve watched how this leading lady got heartbroken by a man she dearly loved. It’s like the whole movie, that one character would just be wailing that she forgot to notice all the good things that still surrounded her. Her family, her career, her friends etc. We can’t have everyone we want in our life. Sometimes, God will reveal the people who don’t deserve to be in your life at a much later time. It happens through mistrust or misunderstanding until it reaches the point where all communication disappears. I’ve never experienced a major heartbreak but I hope that with all the challenges I’ve dealt with and all the lessons I learned in life, it would at least be easier to let go than to hold on to something that exists just on my mind but never in reality.
2) Because life is too short to live it in regrets
If there’s one thing I regret all my life, it would be the fact that I didn’t do my best when I was in grade school. I used to be the top of my class and people would just respect me and befriend me even though I was a geek. However, when I turned grade 5 and 6, my family eventually had to deal with a lot of problems that included our finances that I wasn’t able to get my exams on time and get my report card after. I lost all hope. I gave up on everything and everyone – even myself. I knew I could do it if I studied harder but I didn’t. I became a brat that I even passed that phase where all the words coming from my mouth didn’t sound like it was coming from a Christian kid. I was simply frustrated about everything. Though I didn’t fail big time, I knew that I wasn’t working hard enough. I’d be the top 11 always and couldn’t even make it to the top 10 and I knew at that moment that I broke my parents’ expectations. I broke my expectations. My teachers would always tell me that they knew I had the ability to do so much better than I was doing. It did encourage me because when I worked on my projects and quizzes whether it was a surprise or not, there were several times where I earned higher grades than the first honor in class. But during the exams, because I knew that I couldn’t take it on time again, I didn’t review hard enough. For what? Those were the kind of thoughts running on my mind 24/7. I was tired of being the promissory note kind of student which was far from what my life used to be. Tuition fees paid in full, no worries, just a whole lot of inspiration to do my best. I did graduate from grade school though so I’m sure I didn’t fail, but I surely regretted not doing and giving my best. But again, if I live my life regretting things I can no longer change, what good would it do to me? There’s definitely something way more challenging than grade school. So there's one thought I’ve had to learn to let go of – the thought of being nothing but a failure.
3) Because you're limiting yourself from a limitless God
I had so many dreams in life. I had so many goals I wanted to achieve. I had people I wanted to be proud of me. I wanted to be proud of myself too. I had a lot of aspirations but I guess life failed to make them happen for me. (Shucks! I can’t believe my tears are dropping!) First, even though I’m not good at Math, I wanted to be an architect. Next, I thought of how amazing it would be if I become a doctor. Third, I wanted to go and volunteer in Logos Hope – the floating library. Whether you believe me or not, all those opportunities nearly came to life! Someone was willing to help me so I could study biology + medicine and become a doctor. Someone e-mailed my mom to ask if I was willing to get to Logos Hope – but all those didn’t happen no matter how excited I was. And no, don't feel sorry for me. You see, one thing I forgot was that things weren’t under my control. I blamed all the bad events in my life on God that I eventually forgot that He was there during the bad times too. He was there to give me comfort when my world was literally shattering. He was there to give me peace when I thought everyone had been accelerating their whole lives while I’d been merely stuck in a platform, waiting. He was there to give me joy when there was nothing in this world that could make me happier. He was there to give me hope that someday, though the process of reaching my dreams and aspirations in life is as hard as driving a car without a steering wheel, I will eventually get to the finish line when I learn to let Him control my life. This world absolutely has limitations that limits us from doing so many things but who holds this limited world? A limitless God. Just like the lyrics in Lauren Daigle’s song Trust in You “Letting go of every single dream, I lay each one down at Your feet…”, I also had to let go of many for the assurance that God’s love is better than life itself. (Psalm 63:3 NIV)
I hope that this post encouraged you somehow. Doors close but somewhere down there, there will be another one perfectly designed for you. Don't lose hope! You just have to realize that you can't have everything you want, and it's when your hands are empty that you can actually receive more.
So if you ask me how I’m doing, I’m pretty sure I’d give you an answer in the lines of “I’ve just realized how awesome life would be when I learn how to let go of things that could be for all that God is making me to be.”
*Inspiration from YoungHeart Band and Christine Owen's "Homeschool Hair"
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