I wanna start this post by apologizing to you. If you've been up to date with my blog, you may have noticed how my posts drastically changed from having a positive voice to ones which mostly contained my disappointments and frustrations in life. Though I get to post a little bit of the 'happy stuff', there are probably still more of the negative ones. Because this is my outlet, I really didn't care about what I put in here or how people would react — that's where I went wrong.
When I first started blogging, I didn't know that people would actually read what I write. Many told me that it was good, the words were deep and I was so motivated to improve my writing. I even felt like I almost read all the tips online, memorized the rules from a number of books and other resources. Because of that though, even when I had a pretty good topic on mind, I'd back -out for I couldn't always come up with the right words. The only thing that kept me writing was if I had a hard time or if a blogger tagged me to write something. In all honesty, I kind of found writing about sadness a lot easier than writing about happiness. And of course, I felt like I wasn't living up to my purpose of writing something that would make people smile and inspire them. I was so down that I couldn't even find the will to encourage others.
What now? As we're in the last day before 2016 finally ends, I thought of lessening my posts that would portray something negative in the coming year. Even the dramatic ones. I know I have not been good as a blogger and a writer, but I hope to better myself and discern which portions of my life goes on the blog and which ones don't. Though I can't promise that there will totally be no posts of the like, I'll make sure to include the lessons I learned along the way, as we all go through tough times that we can't avoid. Not everything is going to be pleasant for us at all times and we have to live by what we have— to make the most out of it. Even then, I want to focus more on the positive side of life so that when you come and visit my blog, you'll have something to remember about. Something much more favorable to have in mind. I hope you continue stopping by to read my past and future posts. I've moved everything to one blog page so that it's easier for me to keep track of everything. The reason why all of the likes and comments are back to zero.
That being said, I would like to greet you all a happiest new year ahead. 2016 have been such a struggle for me and my family. We've dealt with so many toxic emotions that obviously pulled us down. Relationships keep getting broken no matter how much we wanted to treasure them. We may have broken people's trust and we really couldn't change their minds because we were in a situation that made us vulnerable to it. So if in case you're reading this and you're one of those people or if we've caused you pain in any way, I deeply apologize. We're not perfect people, I know, but it was never our intention to hurt you. God knows all about it! I pray that He blesses you abundantly — blessings after blessings this coming year. Please don't hesitate to help others whenever you can for you never know... you may be the blessing they've been bugging God for.
Also this year, a lot of disappointments have taken place in my life that no matter how much I tried to calm myself, I still couldn't get rid of the anxiety that came along with it. It's this year that my faith was thoroughly shaken. It's this year where I felt the most distant from God and people. I was alone because I kept on putting up walls around me so I never really had someone who I could tell my problems to. I kept everything to myself because I didn't want my family to lose heart. What's good though, is that after every time I was battling something deep inside, God then makes a way to remind me of how much faithful He still is to us. A lot of people have caused heartaches to my family especially this year. Some kept spreading the wrong stories about us back home and we couldn't do anything about it because we were miles away from them. Some, though not directly, have showed us disrespect and we still didn't do anything about it even if we could actually do something. We still believed to this point that God would be the one to deal with them. We may have faced a lot of challenges this year but I'm glad that God didn't leave us hanging. Instead, He carried us all throughout this whole year and covered us with His never-ending love.
I may not know you or the struggles you're facing in life but you have to trust me when I tell you that all you need is God to comfort you and give you daily strength. Sometimes, we run around looking for the right answers, fitting in different shapes from the world that would fill that God-shaped vacuum in our hearts, not knowing that it's only Him who will ever fill that void. This coming year, why don't you give a gift to yourself? Why don't you give yourself the privilege of knowing Jesus?
There's nothing to lose but always something to gain.
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