Back to the playlists again! Here are my current faves. I'm also including the YouTube video so you could take time to listen to it . Enjoy!
1. 7 Years Old by Lukas Graham
2. Love Yourself by Justin Bieber
3. Realize by Colbie Calliat
I remember, just at the beginning of this year, I was quite worried about how things will actually go and work out in my life. It was just towards the end of 2015 that I felt so uneasy and anxious when in fact, I know I shouldn't. There were just so many things happening that I wasn't aware of; and everytime I begin to think that everything is going to be fine, I just felt like it actually wasn't going to be. I guess I was just the one encouraging myself to feel better. After all, a year takes 12 months and 366 days. Things might eventually work out with that much given time. On the inside, I reckon I was a bit melancholic and desperate to go back to the life I once lived before. But on the contrary, the more I made myself look forward, the more things around me are going worst; the more I stumble going the opposite direction. It's like everything is a disaster and I couldn't just get things back up and I can't even stand back up! The feeling was horrible — I was fighting against depression and trying to overcome it by distracting myself and trying to be busy although I wasn't really focused on something yet.
The number 1 thing that kept bothering me was the fact that I just wanted to go back to studying (although I passed acceleration tests before) and move ahead and do something for myself. The terrible feeling of not being able to do what you love doing most just hit me rock bottom. But they say, things come when you least expect them. It must be true. Just at the beginning of March, through unexpected events, me and my sisters happily started to do homeschooling with some friends at church. It was undoubtedly God working behind the scenes. We expected a different thing to happen and different answers to our prayers but God who is in control over all things gave us what we needed just at the right time. Few months ago, I was also given a book to review in to finish highschool and get ready for College. I thought, why did I feel so negative when God has His own way of doing things? A little more hard work and I'm off!
For the meantime, I'm really busy catching up on how things are. Waking up early (6 am!), getting loads of reading and writing to do and worst of all, working on Maths! I super x 200000000000 hate Math but I'm just surprised that I could do things without help! And also, in homeschooling, there is no teacher. You'll have resources like videos and stuff, but the thing you'll need the most is yourself, your brain, and your determination ( with God's guidance). It is not just a normal routine of waking up early and wearing uniforms, it's more of doing your job fast- paced and the more you move quickly, the more you'll be able to catch up. There are different types of home study programs and I'm glad that we do the Eclectic one where it is a mix of the other programs ( traditional, unit studies, unschooling) and you just have the freedom to study a subject you are really interested in! To be honest, my brain got a little drained and all but it's definitely worth it. I wouldn't trade the joy of being able to study to the temporary rest that comes along in life. I don't even care if my face contains lots of 'unwanted particles' due to stress because it just reminds me that I'm doing the right thing.
When I thought that this life was just a mess, it was then that God reminded me that it isn't. I live in a world that is a mess including the circumstances I face. But my life? No. My life is a proof of God's work, of God's hand moving along it to shape me, and make me a better person. So if ever you come to think that you're so done — hold on, God is not done with you yet.
NO. DON'T GIVE UP HOPE JUST YET. IT'S THE LAST THING TO GO. WHEN YOU HAVE LOST HOPE, YOU HAVE LOST EVERYTHING. AND WHEN YOU THINK ALL IS LOST, WHEN ALL IS DIRE AND BLEAK, THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE.
Last night, while I happened to watch a series at Dubai One, The UAE's national TV Channel, I was surprised that one of the upcoming movies to watch in the next couple of hours was the faith-based movie ' Grace Unplugged'. The thought of it being watched by lots of people and for it simply being played in the UAE is just amazing and heartwarming at the same time. I don't want to say that I want things to be done always what I think it would've been as some may think. I sincerely respect all of the other religions but in this case, I just want to applaud the UAE for being so open and accepting towards others especially towards Christianity. I pray that it will last and make everyone happy as always!
You know, it's important to show respect to one another regardless of their beliefs and stand in certain areas -- because if it was that way, I guess the world will just be a nicer and peaceful place to live in.
This morning, I did a little research of the movie (although I watched it about 5 times already) and found a video that covers why the movie was made and its purpose and how the actors reacted to it. I hope that this doesn't just make it a Christian film but also, a movie that focuses on the aspect of 'family' and honoring morals and values that is sadly falling away nowadays.
I am just stoked to see how God is working and how He unplugs His grace daily just for us-- that through a movie, many can get inspired to keep believing and trusting God -- no matter what happens and also, how it exposes the things that are truly happening nowadays. With every sad thing that's happening just around the corner, it's good to see that even in a movie, things don't always go the right way as intended. Sometimes, it takes a little twist and turn to lead us to the path where we truly belong. A path where we'll feel complete and joyful for eternity -- a thing that neither ourselves or anything in this world can offer us.
For those of you who haven't watched the movie yet, I'm telling you, go watch it! Haha!
Finally! Dubai Tennis Open is over and I'm a bit late in posting this update. Haha!
Anyway, as part of the family tradition or shall I say – hobby, we are finally back from the busyness that tennis has somehow brought in our lives. Ever since me and my sisters were younger, we'd always visit the tennis stadium especially if the world- known players are around. Before, it was just a go-with-the-flow thing as I wasn't that much interested and I just went because my dad loves it so much – as if it's his life. But recently, as I get to watch the players during their games in different areas of the world, I slowly got that bit of interest kicking in until it grew bigger and I'm more than interested and I love knowing and getting to see the players too. Last year (2015), we had absolutely NO absents and watched both women's and men's game except for the semis and finals as it was way too expensive. Nevertheless, it's a good thing that there's a big screen just outside the grandstand where the game can still be viewed which is also a good thing for those who unfortunately can't make it to the big court inside. Thankfully, even it was tiring, it was worth running after the players, getting pictures and autographs too. I cannot count how many of the players got to sign autographs as they were too many to be counted. And for the pictures, well, there were a lot too and all of them, I uploaded on Facebook.
This year's tennis was different. Although my parents were always on the go and regularly watched the games, me and my sisters hadn't got much chance to do so as things are a little different now. We somehow got to homeschooling and so we missed out on a lot which was definitely not bad at all. Of course, studies are more important than anything else and because of this chance given, tennis or other second-level thing should just be under studying which is the top priority as of now. (BTW, A big thank you to God for providing!) But of course, I don't want ya'll to think that I haven't watched any of the games. I/ we still got to watch a couple of the ladies' games. We even got to watch in the grandstand ( Thanks to a special person for the free tickets) when Jankovic and Bencic play. Whew! What can I say? Jankovic is Jankovic – the moves and strategies... It is so her and she's a tough and a really good player. As for Bencic who lost the game that night, she did good too and the fact that she's just 18 makes my jaws instantly drop. Special thank you also to the free tickets allowing my parents to watch the finals. The tickets are way too costly ranging from 700 - 1,500 dhs per person and getting 'em for free is WOW! The finals was a game me and my sisters ought not to miss. Even if my parents were the only ones who watched the game live, well – we watched it live too. On TV. The match between Erina and Strycova gave me thrills as I wanted Strycova to win and so are the thousands of people on the court as the commentator said but she wasn't lucky that day. Anyway, few days before the finals when we watched some games on court, I got to take a picture with the pretty Strycova. She was cheerful and she did entertain the fans.
The next amazing thing that has happened is me finally getting to meet Nickolas Kyrgios! Back when he defeated Nadal, I already knew that I was fangirling -- not on 1D or other people but to a tennis player. It's not like it's over -acting but I know he's a good player and deserves some support even if he's not that patient and even if he's known as the badboy on court. (I really don't care!) It was unexpected since he did play at the grand stand and at that time, we had no tickets available. We went to a party before that and decided to head straight to the tennis court. We knew Kyrgios would play so we just wanted to atleast see him pass through the pathway before he heads inside. But sometimes, things happen in th emost unexpected way. Just at that time, God again sent someone to help us watch the game inside. Free tickets! Thank God for everything. It was all unexpected and never crossed our minds but He just made us so happy that day. And not just that, after the match with Klizan which Kyrgios won over, me and my sisters quickly hurried outside before Nick comes out so we could get autographs and photos. And we did just that. After buying a marker and getting a free Tennis magazine, we were just in time to get autographs. I actually have a video of Nick walking down but the nicest thing that day that I would like to share is the picture I had with him! He was trying to make a pose (a badboy pose) but I haven't captured that because my hands were shaking. (Haha!) To sum it all up, our tennis experience this year may be a little like last year but atleast, we got the chance to watch and meet our favorites. BTW, it's sad that Nole had to retire because of some eye problem while Nick also had to retire for hip injury which I assume has disappointed a lot including me. So the finals -- I haven't watched the game but congratulations to Stan for winning!
This is short and yep -- it's all about tennis. But I love tennis. I'm planning to write a little stuff about Dubai Tennis open, I'm just running out of time to do so so please wait for it and for the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this!
P.S. - The pictures are not yet complete but I will upload soon when I find time :P
About three weeks ago, we had the chance to visit the amazing art work placed at the Cultural Palace just here in Sharjah.
Actually, there were already a few people telling us about it beforehand and although there were many places where the light show was held, we unfortunately just got to watch the show on the last day itself as we completely had no idea about it and missed out on a lot of the wonderful exhibits put up.We had a pretty long day at that time but we forced ourselves to just pass by the place which was around the Cultural Square R/A and it was definitely not worth the regret because everything was just amazing!
There are just two things that I learned from our visit and I thought I'd share it with you...
Perhaps, this will be the very first blog post that you'll be seeing here. It has certainly been a while since I've updated my blog; recently, I've posted the poem I very proudly wrote. I know that it's nothing compared to the rest and it's quite sloppy and all, but as I said, I'm still in the process of learning and no matter how much I've learned, it eventually won't stop, because learning is a continuous, tedious and exciting stage where you get both excited, hurt, and sometimes tired at the same time.
Monotonous. At first, when I was brainstorming, coming up with various page titles, I searched for every word I could think of that matches the 'lightbulb' that instantly came up. I wanted things to be arranged alphabetically or if not, I wanted all of my pages with the same groupings and other creative stuff I could think of. I went off reading some blogs online and checked what they had or if I could use theirs as a model for my own. Thankfully, I bumped into one of my favorite blogs which eventually gave me the idea as to what title I could use for a page meant to be all about my steady-paced life. It's not that my life is boring, there are no thrills and excitement, less adventures and so on, No. Actually, all of our lives have different aspects on which we consider an adventure or something that gives us a reason to be excited about. I know and I'm sure that you have your own little adventures and challenges in life and so do I. My thing could not be like yours in the sense of travelling for example or it may be different in the way I do things from how you do things. You know, we all have our little things in life that we could always write about. May it be small like getting to eat in your favorite restaurant or getting to travel abroad -- it's always something worth writing and probably, this is the reason why I put up this page. Although the word 'monotonous' speaks for itself, I sort of wanted to test myself and give it a little meaning seeing things in a wider range of view.
And yes -- sometimes it's weird that even when life is a little bit boring, there is always something to write about. This life may not be good all the time but it does offer time to view one's thoughts and reflect upon something no matter what it is. This page may be the least updated but I do hope you get something from it too. If you wanna write, don't stop and think. Do it now and start writing for it is never too late to chase after your dreams.
For a quick write - up, I just want to give a little update about what's happening in my monotonous life.
First, I am so glad that God has brought some kind - hearted people who helped me and my sisters atleast continue studying. Both my sisters are homeschooling together with this family we know at church and as for me --another family from church also provided a review book and I'm on the step towards taking my GED test to get my highschool equivalency diploma since I haven't really finished it yet because of some changes especially in the Philippine Curriculum (K to 12) which is a bit tricky too. (And I'm getting old!) I've missed out on a lot of things in regular school which made it harder for me to catch up but thankfully, I've been lent some books and resources to continue and gain more insights about the lessons and everything. For a while, I thought that every dream I had has come to an end and that there is no way out but I always come out wrong. I always follow the negative and end up missing on the big part -- that is seeing the positive side of every single thing.
To sum it up, this year may have started out badly but after all, it's just March and after the rain, it's getting calm now and I hope and pray that it will last forever. Erm, I don't want to be emotional? haha!
Second, I'm just thankful for how God is working in my life even if it took a long time, I can see God's hand making a clear path for my family to take. We may have been through a lot and still going through it but after the storm God always send us a rainbow reminding us that there is a light to all of these. I just want to let go of all the things that are useless. All those thoughts focused on what people will think or how to gain favor from men because I will never get to please people even if I had tried my best. I will only fail because it's nothing compared to the favor of God.
Third and last, I'm so happy of how this blog has turned out. I still don't have internet at home so I use it at our friends' house or at the internet cafe so you might understand the struggle of editing a blog in different places. But in the end, finally, the only thing I need to do is write since everything is already set -- the theme, embeds, social icons and every complicated thing in making a website. So please, stay tuned and continue supporting my blog. Follow me on social media and let's get connected!
If you want to read my poem, click here.
Few weeks ago, I heard this song being sung at church during worship; I can't help it that I literally cried that day. It's just amazing how God looks at us as His own children and yet, at times, we tend to hurt Him and do things our own way. God is that good father who never lets go of His children no matter how far or how deep their sins are. I mean, if compared to an earthly father, no one could still compare to Him and His immense love for us. Come to think of it, as a teenager, I've been through those "critical years" of being a teenager; times when I wanted to be free and prove to everyone — especially my parents that I can become independent and I can do things — simply in my own way. Without their help or anyone's help in that case. I thought I really can do things alone but then again, just like God, my parents were always in my back. They didn't tell me they were but I knew that if I'd fall (just in case), someone will be there to help me get back up. That's the same with God, being our Father, rest assured that He will be there, sometimes, you won't take notice of Him but He knows your needs, He knows everything about you and for our part, I guess it's just important to simply know that He is good. No, good would be an understatement, God is more than good — Name it!
A mixture of life, love, faith, and everything in between. Welcome to my space!
latest on instagram