About four months ago, we shifted to another house. It is not much different from our previous house and it is still in Sharjah. When we moved to this house, I wasn’t so sure about what was going to happen. We had issues in our previous house that sadly, all the tenants had to move – including us. To make the long story short, we were in a panic mode – where to find a house, how to pack all things in just a week and of course, how to get the financial help that we needed. Money after money. If I could just put to words everything that I felt during those days, I really wouldn’t be able to write anything at all. I had mixed emotions and all the more I thought about how quickly we had to do all things, I was all the more falling to depression. I mean, I had other things to do and this. How on earth am I even supposed to think about all things together and find a solution to all of it? I know that I was not alone for my family was also worried about what was happening, but I can’t erase the fact that I wish I could’ve done something to make things lighter and easier not just for myself – but for my family. It’s just that a lot of times, I hoped that I could be of better use.
Okay, enough drama.
Our situation was horribly difficult at that time. Because our water was cut down, my sisters and I lived in the guest room of a church friend which we were more than thankful for. (Imagine life without water!) While we had a decent place to stay, my parents had to go out and about looking for a place and saving water. We had slept for 10 days apart from each other. Although sleeping-over can be good, sometimes separation anxiety can just kick in. I’ve been given the responsibility to take care of my sisters and be very watchful in the place we were staying in, because our friends weren’t there as they were in vacation. Those times, I felt like I had to stay awake every time. I have this tendency to just look at the windows, “is the coast clear?” I was happy that I get to sleep well, but I’m sad too given the fact that I miss my bed and everything – I missed home. All those were very challenging to me. Never have I been in a situation where I had to do things alone and yet try to feel good. I think I’ve gotten used to being with people to guide me and help me out, but that time, it was different. Yet, in a finger’s snap, things changed.
After the storm there was a sense of calmness.
Prayers – Never ever think that prayer is our last resort when things go out of plan for prayer is the best thing we can ever do when in the midst of doubt, anxiety and depression. I’m just thankful that God never let us go. I was beginning to doubt everything and everyone to the point that I asked whether God still heard my prayers. To be honest, I felt like letting go – of hope, of faith and of every good thing that I was supposed to think about. And I made a mistake. I made a very huge mistake of losing my trust in God. Within the week, He provided people to help us financially, He gave us a pretty good place to stay – probably much better than where we came from. It was as if I was floating. Tears were flowing.
If there’s one lesson I learned, it would be to wait. How long it would take is completely none of our business. It’s God’s. So if you ever get stuck on the negativity around you, don’t strive looking for the positive because it will be so hard to find some. Instead, find peace in Jesus. Look up to the One who watches over us all, to the One who’s sure about what He’s doing. Never look down, you’ll get depressed even before you know it. Look up and place everything in His hands.
THE LORD IS NOT SLOW CONCERNING HIS PROMISE, AS SOME COUNT SLOWNESS; BUT IS PATIENT TOWARD YOU, NOT WISHING THAT ANY SHOULD PERISH, BUT THAT ALL SHOULD COME TO REPENTANCE. - 2 PETER 3:9
BUT WHEN YOU ASK, YOU MUST BELIEVE AND NOT DOUBT, BECAUSE THE ONE WHO DOUBTS IS LIKE A WAVE OF THE SEA, BLOWN AND TOSSED BY THE WIND. - JAMES 1: 6
Update: We may have had a little bit of misunderstanding with our neighbors, or shall I say – housemates at first, but things are brightening up now. We have always asked God to give us a “harmonious relationship” with everyone we encounter. We're also thankful that we came across the movie Prayer Room – which has inspired us as a family to pray over for our house
When we thought God wasn’t doing anything, oh well, He has always been working behind-the-scenes. And for that, I – we are more than grateful.
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